So, my cousin asked if I had single friends.

Instead of saying “yes’, I said, “I’ll see who I can think of”. And then I wrote a personal ad for him. (No. He didn’t ask that I write one. I just had to.)

The question is, do I send this to him and say, “Hie thee to Craigslist, and post(e-haste)!” Or do I say, “No, my friends really AREN’T sane. *insert stereo-typical accent here* Thank you. Come again!”

So, I have this cousin. To be honest, he’s more like the older brother I never had – and never wanted. (I think all of the cousins – all 18 of us on the one side, be they older or younger than he – would say the same thing.) He’s 40, going on 14. (Okay. Fine. Hrmph. I’m 33 and going on 14 as well. Semantics, pfft!)

ANYWAY, I have this cousin, who is single.

He’s 5’11”. Short, light brown hair (but if he re-lived his youth, the hair would be long and curly). Bright blue eyes. Tattooed. Pierced ears. Is blessed with a phenomenal singing voice, which he doesn’t really share, unless he feels really comfortable with you. Divorced father to a great kid. Employed. Has an AWESOME family (okay, maybe that is just my bias coming through).

If I weren’t related to him, I would say he is a great catch. (But since I AM related to him, I am legally obligated to say, “Ewww! I remember him as a kid, all pointy-elbows and gawky. Wearing glasses and braces! You think THAT is sexy?”)

My cousin? Is in search of a relationship. Not some one-nighter in a dark alleyway; not a “friends, with benefits” type of situation; and not some fling, where there’s no emotional attachment involved. No. He is searching for an honest-to-Pete relationship.

Like, a RELATIONSHIP-relationship! With love, and connection, and emotions, and partnership, and fights, and making-up, and shared responsibility, and honesty – even when honesty is hard. All that shit.

He’s asked if I have any single friends.

Apparently, he thinks I have sane, and normal, friends. (My friends? ARE a bit quirky and left of center – they are mainly performers and artists – so it may be that his perception is a bit skewed. However, I find it a bit hard to pimp out my cousin on Facebook. I’m assuming it would be like pimping out your brother to your friends. Kinda gross, no?) So …

… I am posting this because Josh is shy (in his way). And because he truly is a nice guy (as long as you aren’t blood related, otherwise he would be socking you in the arm and calling you “buttmunch”. But, then again, that may just be me and his sisters that he treats that way). Forgetting about the arm-socking, and head-nookeying he does, he IS kind, loving, and giving. And loyal, sometimes to his detriment. And deserving, and wanting, of a partnership.


If you are a woman who: has a slightly warped sense of humour, is confident in herself, has read through the above, connects with a man whose humour straddles the BBC and “The Hangover”, and is willing to spur someone onto “bigger and better”, while being spurred in the same way, well hell.

Send a message.

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3 Responses to So, my cousin asked if I had single friends.

  1. Jeanne says:

    I’m forwarding this to a friend of mine … unfortunately, she’s digging in Wyoming. Might pose some logistical problems …

  2. Natalie says:

    That is too funny! Jeanne you’re right that does sound like me 🙂 Except I’m surveying, not digging (although there is a dig in the future of the project I’m doing now).

    Props for not pimping your cousin (or brother) on FB 🙂

  3. annithyme says:

    True. Wyoming is just a *touch* far from CA.

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